Some whining and some motivation

Once upon a time, back when I ran for the WTC, there was a small core of girls who raced consistently every. single. weekend. There were a ton of girls who would come to practice on and off, and do workouts, and long runs, and train, but when it came time to RACE, they were nowhere to be found.  I remember the excuse was often "I'm not in shape to race" and the 5 of us who had been racing were like "well, you don't have to be in great racing shape to race, especially in track, where you race so many times that there's no way to be at peak for each and every one".  And we thought it was kind of a dumb excuse.  Well, I have officially found myself on the other side of that coin.  Right now, at this moment, I feel like if I got on a track and raced a mile it would be a hideous embarrassment, complete with pity clap and calls of "there's still a runner on the track" and failure.  

Granted, I have reasons for why my training has been sub-par. I've spent the last month struggling with a mysterious, transient, untraceable hip problem that has come and gone, some days making running painful, some days making it impossible, some days not bothering me at all. You would think that one semester of PT school would prepare me to self diagnose but alas, we just started on the hip this semester (though I fully plan on figuring out what exactly was/is wrong with me by semester's end!) At this point (knock on wood) it seems to have resolved to the point where it only flares if I aggravate it by doing something stupid (ie, a cutdown run on the treadmill, which it does not like.)  But during this month, I've also managed to roll/sprain my ankle not once, but TWICE. The first was right before Christmas, and I spent the next 4 days hobbling around like a failure, and then yesterday my dumbass goes running in the most recent Boston blizzard and does it again.  Granted, it seems to be relatively "okay" today, and I'll probably be back running tomorrow, but it's been an interesting month of trying to obtain any decent workouts. 

I really don't know what the point of this post is.  I think the point is that I haven't raced in over 2 months.  That's a long time...too long.  I am longing to feel the nervous energy and the pure bliss of the finish line and the pain and the camradrie and everything.  And right at this second, I am just too scared.   Things are looking up - I'm finally going to be making my long awaited return to GBTC track workouts, possibly as early as this week, and I have my sights set on the BU Valentine's Day Invite as my triumphant return to indoor track.  I can't believe it's been 2 YEARS since I last set foot on a legit indoor track.  Obviously I've achieved a lot over that period in the road racing realm of my life, but while I've still got some speed left in me, I might as well find it, right? 

Anyway, we'll try to wrap this up with something positive, since so far this has mainly been one big random tangent. I never did a new year's resolution post, but I guess if I had to sum up my "resolutions" in 6 words, it would be this:

BE SMART, BE FEARLESS, BE STRONG

BE SMART - this includes, but isn't limited to, listening to my body as far as when I'm pushing too hard and when I can push harder, taking time off or cross training when I'm injured, paying more attention to the type of food I'm putting in my body as far as what's actually fuel and what's just crap, and (NRR) staying ahead of the game and performing well in school and in my first real-life clinical situation.

BE FEARLESS - basically, what this entire post has been about - not being afraid of a bad workout or race, leaving it all on the course, doing workouts that push me to my limits, and generally living without fear and without regrets in 2011.

BE STRONG - strength training is a HUGE part of what I want to accomplish this year - making it a part of my routine and something that I just do, rather than having to think about/force myself to do.  Abs, yoga, circuits, and lifting all fall under this category...right now I'm aiming for yoga at least once a week, abs at least 3 times, and something else under the category of strength (lifting, circuits, pilates) at least once a week.  I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't achieve these number goals but they're just something to think about to get me motivated to get stronger...which I know WILL make me a better, less injured runner.

That's about all I've got for today.  I'm off to work on some school stuff and get some lifting and XTing in....I will be working at the GBTC Invitational meet alllllll day tomorrow (there are 100+ entries per gender in the mile and 200, oh my goodness) and hopefully making it to watch at least part of the Packer game, where the Packers will OBVIOUSLY be victorious! ;)