Some taper musings....because it's IRONMAN WEEK!

 I've imagined what the finish of my first Ironman would be like for so long.

I imagined it in 2006, when I stood in the pouring rain out on the run course, cheering for these people who as far as I could tell were completely insane, but with a tiny spark inside asking if maybe someday I could be one of them.

I imagined it a few years later, during my first sprint triathlon, when I spent the entire race in complete disbelief of how much FUN I was having, and how I couldn't wait to do it again.

I imagined it when I started following triathlon blogs, and reading people's IMWI race reports over and over again, alternately wondering how they could DO such a thing and at the same time wondering if I could do it to. (I actually went back and found one of these race reports recently and it made me cry! I think that's part of the reason I continue to keep this little blog going, because maybe someday someone will read a race report of mine and be inspired to do something someday.)

I imagined it when, almost 10 years later, I sporadically decided to do a sprint triathlon and I remembered that feeling.

And I've imagined it throughout this entire, insane, stupid year that 2020 has been. On the trainer in the winter, when COVID hit but it still seemed like there was plenty of time, during winter long runs and getting up early to swim. I could close my eyes and picture this: the start, at Monona Terrace, a day full of possibility. And the finish: the capitol, the red carpet, the roar.  I've pictured that scene in my mind so many times, even as March became May and May became July and it became clearer and clearer that that finish line was not going to exist this year, that there would be no red carpet and cheering college students and the lights of State Street, I still dreamed. 

Did I ever, in all those years since I became aware of what Ironman was and spent a day wandering the city in the rain trying to get as close to it, to be as much a part of it as I could, dream that my first Ironman would be undertaken alone? That my finish line would be a random line in a parking lot? That I would in all likelihood need to ride my bike to and from my event venue? Certainly, I did not. Then again, I don't think anyone among us could have possibly predicted a world pandemic and the subsequent insane ride 2020 has taken us on. 

When IMWI was officially cancelled back in July, I wasn't exactly sure what I should do. A part of me wanted to just pack it in and relax for the reminder of the summer, but in the end I realized that I had already put in way too much work NOT to have some kind of culmination to it all. And so I kept training, albeit at a more relaxed and far less rigid capacity. I did rides I never would have imagined (an 80 mile tri-state ride from Newburyport, MA to York, ME on a 95 degree day and riding the full Kancamagus Highway in the White Mountains are two highlights). I did scenic long runs with friends and never once worried about pace or doing a workout. I (finally) learned to fix a flat tire! I survived one of the more miserable Boston summers I can recall in recent memory. I pretty much just didn't do workouts in any discipline - I focused solely on volume which I think is allowed when your race is 140.6 miles! And over time, a plan came together for me to attempt to complete an Ironman on my own. And it's happening this coming Saturday.

I remarked to my mom a couple of weeks ago that "I feel like I'd be freaking out if this were a real race, but since it's just a thing, I'm not!" Those words would come back to haunt my when I did, in fact, become immersed in the glories of a taper freakout over this past weekend. It's a different type of feeling in this case, because unlike most races the question is not "how fast can I do this?" but "CAN I do this?" But deep down, I don't think I'd be attempting it if I didn't think that I could. 

With how my training has gone, I think I have a pretty good idea of how the swim and the bike will go. I am a very middle of the pack swimmer but in training I've been ridiculously consistent to the point where I think I can honestly say that my swim will be somewhere between 1:18 and 1:25 whether it's good, bad, or mediocre. Similarly on the bike, my pace is almost always between 16.5 and 17 mph on the course that I'm riding (6:30-6:45 for an Ironman bike)...and no, I don't plan on blasting the bike like I did in my half "race". Oddly enough, the real wildcard here is the run! Because I have literally no idea what it's going to feel like to run a marathon after 112 miles of biking. None. I can pretty much guarantee that it's going to be harder than I can imagine, and that it's going to take longer than I expect (my goal is ~4 hours). But who knows? The other wildcard is fueling - I still have NO idea how to fuel for a day of this length. The second half of the bike and the entire run are loops around the lakes (~5 mile loop), so I'm going to have a special needs area with literally EVERYTHING I think I could possibly want...soda, cheezits, sour patch kids, peanut butter pretzels, the whole shebang. I don't want not eating enough to be the thing that screws up my day but that's definitely the thing I have the least experience with, so it's going to be a delicate dance.

I start at 6:20 am on Saturday. Finishing in a boathouse parking lot with no spectators besides my husband definitely was not how I pictured my first Ironman finish, but I suspect it will be just as meaningful, if not more so. (TBH I am prepared to cry throughout the entire last loop of the marathon lol). 

Ironman Mystic Lakes. LFG!